Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize