I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
