Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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