Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
