yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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