Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
