Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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