oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
