Buhtt sex?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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