hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
