She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
