sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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