I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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