I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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