This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
