Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
