Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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