So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
