just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
