I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so let's talk penis.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize