So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
