Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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