I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
