Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
