i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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