i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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