My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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