you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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