So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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