roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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