But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
