I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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