now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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