I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
