think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
