At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
