There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Boobs speak an international language.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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