I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
