I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
