She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
