I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize