just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
