yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
