Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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