Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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