Four minutes until I can fart!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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