I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he puts the penis in happiness.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
