I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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