Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
