thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just tell him i said nine months
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
