garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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