I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
