I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
