Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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