Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
