Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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