I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
