k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
