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Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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