And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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