ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
