also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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