I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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